Burned Out...

Have you ever done something until you just could not do it any more? You had so much responsibility in doing it that you just felt drained, or so much drama in it that you felt so drained you just could not bring yourself to do it any more?

I remember watching my husband struggle with this years ago when he was into paintball. We would go out to his parent's house and run paintball games almost every other weekend or more. Then there were the times we had to work on the field, work on the guns we loaned out and pick up more supplies. Dwayne worked hard to make sure there were guns for people to borrow, all they had to do was pay for their air and buy their own paintballs, but something would happen and the gun might mess up. So, Dwayne would spend most of the day fixing his loaned out guns, or other people's guns. He rarely got to play. And then there was the drama. People would expect him to reserve a gun for them and then not show up. Or they would feel that he ruined their day because the gun messed up. It ended up being so stressful on him. I was on the field a lot running games, making sure they started and ended at the right time, watching to make sure everyone played fairly, which meant I was not much help off field. There were times that new people would come in and promise to help or they would show such excitement for the game that Dwayne hoped he would feel the same way, but it finally came to a point where he was done. He was burned out...the fire was gone. I was kind of sad to see it end. I enjoyed the social aspect, but I did not have to work as hard as he did. We sold off all the equipment and ended our days in the paintball world. Every once in awhile he has twinges of wanting back in, but not enough to actually do it.

Well, I have just seen a friend hit this point. In a previous post, I shared about our day of re-enacting with friends. Well, my friend tried to renew his excitement for re-enacting with us coming in, but it was just not there. So, we will not be doing the 1812 Mississinewa weekend as previously planned. It was a disappointment, but honestly I felt worse for my friend, he felt so bad for all we had done to prepare for the re-enacting. After watching my husband struggle with this burned out feeling, I don't ever want to place guilt on someone else for feeling this way. The friendship means more to us than that, so we will just be finding new ways to hang out with them.

Being burned out on something can happen in so many areas. I know it happens so often in the church. We get use to seeing the same people serving in the same areas in the church and we just think that they enjoy it so much that they would never want our help, so we never even ask. But, they may be on the verge of burn out. It seems like there is so much guilt that comes with being on the verge of being burned out, like you are letting others down by not wanting to continue on in whatever area it is you are involved in. And normally you got into this area because you had a great desire to do it, but when you start feel burned out, it hurts because it also means you no longer enjoy something that at one time brought you so much joy. I often wonder if becoming burned out on something is God's way of pushing us into a time of rest and if that after we take some time to rest that we will either be able to enter back into this area or we will find a new area to give our time to. It is just a hard path to walk through...no matter what it is that you are involved in.