Just some thoughts today...

You have to love a book with the title..."Going all the Way"? I know I can't wait to read it. The cool thing is I will get a free copy for just blogging about it. It looks like all you have to do is blog about it and you get a free copy. Just go to this blog to learn more.

My sewing is coming along nicely. Have you ever noticed the more you read something the more sense it starts to make. In an earlier post I compared the bible to trying to understand pattern instructions. Well, I have put together 2 dresses and the pattern almost made sense. Of course, keep in mind I have reread the instructions many times.

Now, this causes me to think of passages in the bible that I have read and reread many times. I must say for some odd reason, the passages about Samson are some of my favorite. I cannot tell you how many times I have read through these passages, Judges 13-16, but each time I pick a little more wisdom out of it. I even did a short lesson for a Christian school chapel time once. My favorite piece of wisdom comes from Delilah trying to find out the source of Samson's strength. She keeps asking, she keeps nagging, and she keeps wearing him down until he finally tells. Now, my first thought was, "How stupid can this guy be...every time he tells her something it happens to him?" (Judges 16:6-21) But isn't this exactly what Satan will do to us? He puts the thought into our head, and if we do resist the first time, he will keep doing it...keep asking, keep nagging and keep wearing us down until we give in. But even if we do give in, which will happen if we try to fight him on our own, we can still be redeemed by God, just like Samson. (Judges 16:22-31) Samson calls out to God and ends up killing more Philistines in his death than during his life. It always is a good reminder to me that there is nothing that can separate me from God's love once I accept Him.

Wait is almost over...

I feel like a love sick teenager as I wait very anxiously for my hubby to come home. First it was, "I will be home late Saturday afternoon." Then it was, "I will be home Tuesday afternoon." Now it is, "I will be home at like 2:00am Wednesday morning." At least this last one must be true because he just called me from the Denver airport, so unless weather delays them, he is finally on his way home. Normally, his business trips don't faze me much, but he has been really worked hard on this trip and sometimes he can't even call me at night. Then, even when he does, he is so tired he can't talk long. It has been hard not being able to at least talk to him.

Sometimes I think it makes me look like less of a woman, mom or wife, if it looks like I miss him too much, like I just can't do it on my own. It's not that I can't do it on my own, it is that I don't want to do it on my own. Just like living my life with God in it. I have seen lives that only kind of depend on God, don't depend on Him at all, or depend on Him only every great once in awhile. I don't want that kind of life. I know that I do want to depend on Him, even when I am not totally sure how to do it, I just know I want to. And then, not only do I want to learn more about how to depend on God, I want my kids to learn it as well. I have always found it interesting that the closer you get to your spouse, the more you seem to understand God's love and the closer you get to God, the more you seem to love your spouse.

Ok, it is getting late and I feel like I am just rambling. I will try and make better sense another night. I think I am going to go and wait my 5 hours until my hubby will be home.

long weekend...or short weekend?

Oh one hand, this felt like a long weekend, but then on the other hand it went by so fast. Brighton spent Friday and Saturday at a friend's house, he even got to camp out Saturday night by a campfire, a good boy-like activity. Sari had friends over both Friday and Saturday night and they got to spend Saturday shopping. Dora and Tobi spent Saturday and Saturday night with Grandma Nancy. And me...I spent Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday night at church. By the end of Sunday night...I was just plain tired. You know...the kind of tired where you know that when you finally lay down in bed it will feel so good! That is how it was for me. And on top of all this...my hubby is still out in the boonies of Nebraska. Now, I am very lucky, my kids do really well when their dad is out of town. They are very helpful around the house, the do as they are told, all in all, very good. But I am really missing my hubby all the same.

In the end, it really doesn't matter if it was a long weekend or a short weekend....today is Monday and it is time to start another busy week. As I look at how busy next weekend is for me again....I am kind of hoping for a long week...hahahaha.

Ummm...burned out...maybe not?

Ok, this has been an interesting week. My friend came over on Wednesday and told me he was burned out on re-enacting. Well, as it turned out, he was not totally burned out...just really tired of the drama. After he talked with another guy that he re-enacts with, they have decided to try some new ideas to lessen the drama. So.....we are back on for a fun filled weekend at Mississinewa 1812! Yea!!! Of course, this means I really do have to start sewing again. But I am very excited.

Totally different note...my hubby is way out in the boonies of Nebraska. What started out as a quick 3 day trip, will now stretch out to a long 6 day trip. Now, Dwayne's business trips don't really bother me much, but I am really missing him this week. I am sure he will wow the client with his awesome skills....he has some cool skills. The company brings in Dwayne when they need some fires put out. Normally, he would have lots of fun with this. He likes being able to go in and fix problems, but he was not ready for this trip and he has so much stuff here at home he wants to do.

Lastly, our church had the building to bless leadership meeting tonight. I turned in Dwayne and I's pledge card. It made me a little nervous, like I was writing the numbers wrong or something. Not only did I turn in Dwayne and I's pledge card, but I also turned in one for Sari and one for Brighton. I am proud of them for stepping up and doing their first building campaign. This is a great faith step for my kids. I can't wait to see how God blesses the church and the surrounding community.

Burned Out...

Have you ever done something until you just could not do it any more? You had so much responsibility in doing it that you just felt drained, or so much drama in it that you felt so drained you just could not bring yourself to do it any more?

I remember watching my husband struggle with this years ago when he was into paintball. We would go out to his parent's house and run paintball games almost every other weekend or more. Then there were the times we had to work on the field, work on the guns we loaned out and pick up more supplies. Dwayne worked hard to make sure there were guns for people to borrow, all they had to do was pay for their air and buy their own paintballs, but something would happen and the gun might mess up. So, Dwayne would spend most of the day fixing his loaned out guns, or other people's guns. He rarely got to play. And then there was the drama. People would expect him to reserve a gun for them and then not show up. Or they would feel that he ruined their day because the gun messed up. It ended up being so stressful on him. I was on the field a lot running games, making sure they started and ended at the right time, watching to make sure everyone played fairly, which meant I was not much help off field. There were times that new people would come in and promise to help or they would show such excitement for the game that Dwayne hoped he would feel the same way, but it finally came to a point where he was done. He was burned out...the fire was gone. I was kind of sad to see it end. I enjoyed the social aspect, but I did not have to work as hard as he did. We sold off all the equipment and ended our days in the paintball world. Every once in awhile he has twinges of wanting back in, but not enough to actually do it.

Well, I have just seen a friend hit this point. In a previous post, I shared about our day of re-enacting with friends. Well, my friend tried to renew his excitement for re-enacting with us coming in, but it was just not there. So, we will not be doing the 1812 Mississinewa weekend as previously planned. It was a disappointment, but honestly I felt worse for my friend, he felt so bad for all we had done to prepare for the re-enacting. After watching my husband struggle with this burned out feeling, I don't ever want to place guilt on someone else for feeling this way. The friendship means more to us than that, so we will just be finding new ways to hang out with them.

Being burned out on something can happen in so many areas. I know it happens so often in the church. We get use to seeing the same people serving in the same areas in the church and we just think that they enjoy it so much that they would never want our help, so we never even ask. But, they may be on the verge of burn out. It seems like there is so much guilt that comes with being on the verge of being burned out, like you are letting others down by not wanting to continue on in whatever area it is you are involved in. And normally you got into this area because you had a great desire to do it, but when you start feel burned out, it hurts because it also means you no longer enjoy something that at one time brought you so much joy. I often wonder if becoming burned out on something is God's way of pushing us into a time of rest and if that after we take some time to rest that we will either be able to enter back into this area or we will find a new area to give our time to. It is just a hard path to walk through...no matter what it is that you are involved in.

Day 33

Way back on Feb.12th I decided to try and read the bible in 90 days. Well, I was not very good about sticking to the 90 days, but I have continued to read through at my own pace, marking off the days as I past them. I am over 1/3 of the way there. Maybe by Feb. of next year I will get it done? Anyways, I found it interesting as Dwayne and I have been talking about the building to bless campaign that I read these verses in 2 Chronicles31:9-10 "Hezekiah asked the priests and Levites about the heaps; and Azariah the chief priest, from the family of Zadok, answered, 'Since the people began to bring their contributions to the temple of the LORD, we have had enough to eat and plenty to spare, because the LORD has blessed his people, and this great amount is left over.'" It just amazes me that when we follow God and do as he says how we can be blessed.

I have been highly encouraging a young guy that Dwayne and I mentor to tithe. His money is really low, his roommates are moving out and he is barely making it. He called and was telling me how hard it was looking for him right now. I felt bad. I felt bad for telling him he had to tithe, but God won't let me tell him anything else. I know it is hard to get started on giving, but I also know if we don't give we are only hurting ourselves, not the church, not God, only ourselves. As I read through the bible, I continue to find verse after verse of when God's people follow His ways, give to Him, then they are blessed. All I can do is pray that my friend makes it through this rough time. I know God will have glory through his story when this is all done and through many people in our church as well.

On a totally different note, my 2 days of rest are up. Back to sewing for me today. I am a little excited, but also still tired. I really don't want to be sewing at the last minute again, so wish me luck as I get started. :)

A Wonerful Day!

Well, all the hard work finally paid off. I finished Dwayne's pants about 1am Sunday morning and worked on button holes on the way, but everyone had outfits to wear for our first reenactment. We went for just the day and had wonderful time. Now we can't wait until we go to Mississinewa 1812 (http://www.mississinewa1812.com/), we will do that for the whole weekend. I need to start on some warmer things for that, but after looking at all the cool clothing yesterday, I am excited to start on them. I may take a day or two before I start right into the sewing. The one funny thing about all this is that I wanted to get there in time to see the fashion show that they had going on. Well, we got there just in time and as we were hurrying down to find a seat all of us girls got called down to show off our clothing in the fashion show. I guess I must have done a good enough job. Very cool! We went with our friends the Clouses. They have been doing reenacting for a long time and are being very helpful in getting us all ready. They are even going to be letting us stay with them the weekend of Mississinewa. Just so you know, we are dressed to portray pirates of the time. Here are some more pictures of the family.

Patty C., Sara C., Sari, Matt C., Emily C. Brighton & Dora


Sari, Sara C. & Dora.
Dora


















Dwayne & Tobi


Dwayne & Cari


Brighton & Jeremiah C.


On the way home we stopped for dinner at Cracker Barrel in all of our cool clothing. We got a few looks. Then it was on to home, showers and off to bed. I was so ready to go to bed without doing any sewing first. I think we are all planning on looking into more events to go to as well in the next few years. It is so nice doing this with another family. It makes the whole trip better for the kids to have friends to hang out with. Sari and Sara C. will be missing Mississinewa, because they will be off to Washington, D.C. with their class. We will really miss them.

Sewing....

I have been sewing tons for over a week now trying to get some clothing done for an event that my family will be attending on Sunday. Now, I am not bad at sewing, but I am not the greatest at clothing. No matter how many times I read a patterns instructions, it just always seems like a foreign language to me. I was talking about this with my hubby the other day, I told him that I take all the pieces, look at the instructions, and then still do it however I think it should go, which sometimes means a lot of ripping out stitches and resewing. He told me that he is the same way with his wood projects...he just tries to figure it out on his own. Funny how we are so alike in that area. I sometimes really dislike this about myself, because I would much rather be able to follow the instructions there in front of me, after all, they have been tested and my project would come out right the first time.

Reminds me so much of the bible. There are God's instructions for me, not that life would always come out right the first time if I followed them, but it certainly would come out better than if I don't follow them. But, sometimes when I am reading the bible, it is like reading a foreign language as well....nothing makes sense. And then, one day....it just hits me and I finally get at least a small part. Just like after messing up the first article of clothing, when I go to do the second one...it comes out much better. I guess the important thing for me to remember is to keep reading, rereading and reading again....it will make sense.

Right now everyone should be praying for my children. The poor things have been fending for themselves for dinner and having to do their daily chores without mommy's help. But I think in the end the reason they are not complaining is because they are so excited about their new reenactment clothing that they will get to wear this Sunday. I will have to post pictures of everyone in their new outfits when I get them done.

Just a girl...

Now a lot of the time I try to come off tough, ungirly like, but today I was reminded just how girly I am. I have been cleaning our old garage to make into a bedroom/laundry room. When I picked up an old carpet I found a dead mouse. Now, come on...it is already dead, all the hard work is done, but I am sorry...I just can't bring myself to clean it up. My husband had emailed me that he would be coming home soon, so I just called up his little cell phone and asked him how close he was to home. Lucky for me, he was just down the road at the church, talking with another guy, and I am sure they both had a great laugh at my expense, but I don't care, I asked him to come home soon and clean it up. What a great husband, he did clean it up and with such manliness that makes my heart go pitter-patter.

Talking, talking and more talking...

Ok, I am a very talkative person. My hubby will gladly tell anyone who asks, I change subjects easily and switch back again without missing a beat. One nice thing about all this, is that with 4 kids (who are all very talkative just like their mother), I can easily have multiple conversations going on, especially after school. But still, I feel that I am way too talkative. There are days I think to myself...just stop talking....really, shut up right now. But what really makes matters worse for me, is all the things I think that I want to say, but I just never get the chance. I have always told my husband if he could see all the things I think about saying, but don't, he would be so impressed with my restraint. Of course, this works against me too, because I will sometimes have a conversation in my mind, think I said it out loud, and then wonder why my hubby does not know what I am talking about. Makes you wonder how he has put up with me all these years.

I must say, this all use to really bug me. I would be talking to a person, and talking...and talking, I would think to myself, I am driving this poor person crazy. I started praying more that I would become the kind of person that didn't say much, was just quiet and blended with the background and not very noticeable. I prayed almost every day for week or so for this, when I heard very clearly, "that is not how I made you." I guess God made me this way for a purpose, I can go on talking after all....Maybe I will just take it easy on that new person I am chatting with and give them a chance to talk, maybe?